This is something about which I feel very strongly. Having a set of principles in life is crap, it's a concept of a lower mind, and is stupid. I always have used my brain to decide what I should do in a particular situation, and that means that if I disagree to something today, I could be doing it tomorrow.
But today I need to add an exception. A principle that I should follow for the rest of my life - the society is full of assholes, never give a s**t to what anybody says, elder or younger. Do what your brain tells you to do. Fuck principles, fuck moral values, fuck ethics. Do what you want to do. Just don't overdo it.
An incident that took place today, in a blueline bus. I was sitting on the left side of the bus, but not on a female-reserved seat. All of those seats were already occupied by females. An aunty (that's what I'll call her), in her 40s, boarded the bus and stood beside my seat, throwing an agitated glance towards me every 5 seconds.
/* The following conversation is in Hindi. Sorry if you don't know Hindi, but translating it to English would've killed the effect. */
Aunty : "Beta, zara seat mujhe de doge?"
ME : "(Looking to my left, pointing towards a blank space above the window) Ahem"
Aunty : "Zara seat khaali kardo beta."
ME : "Ye ladies seat nahi hai."
Aunty : "Koi baat nahi beta, phir bhi de do."
ME : "Kyun?"
Aunty : "Beta main buzurg hoon. Thak gayi hoon."
ME : "Main bhi thaka hua hoon. Aap aage jaake vriddh nagrik seat khaali karwa lo."
Hearing this, a girl sitting behind me, empties her seat for the lady. Aunty sits down hurriedly. Apparently she had a friend who was buying tickets in this while. Now she comes and stands beside her friend.
Aunty : "(To her friend) Aaj kal ke bachche dekho, badtameez ho gaye hain. Abhi kal parson ki hi baat hai, main aise hi kisi aur bus mein ja rahi thi. Wahaan bhi aisa ek ladka tha, maine usse seat maangi to usne kaha ki ye ladies seat nahi hai. Agar badon ki izzat nahi kar sakte to zindagi mein aur kya karenge?"
ME : "(Turning around) To matlab ye aadat hai aapki? Har jagah jaake bachchon se bheekh maangna? Apni taangon pe khada nahi hoya jaata?"
Aunty : "Aapse kisne baat ki?"
ME : "Agar sirf inse baat karni hoti to itna chilla ke nahi bolti. Ye jo aap ka miss aunty naatak hai na, bahut dekha hai. Pehle to app kehte ho ki hum mardon se peeche nahi. Phir apne liye hazaron kanoon banwati ho - dahej ke, shaadi ke. Buses mein apne liye seat reseve karwati ho. Jab khud ko itna kamzor dikhaogi to kaise haalat theek hogi aapki desh mein? Har choti si baat pe rone lag jaate ho aur phir bolte ho humpe atyachaar hota hai. Sanskaaron ko to aapne weapon bana rakha hai, jab apna kaam nikalwana ho, to apni majboori dikha ke bheekh le lete ho. Aur phir kehte ho ki main badtameez hoon?"
Till then, every single person is staring at me in the bus. The two aunty's start whispering something. I get up hastily and say,
"Aapse mera baithna hazam to hoga nahi, aao, aap hi baitho."
I turn around, and get off the bus at the next stop, cheeks red, and a hot forehead. Then I realise that I made a mistake.
By getting off. I should've sat there and listened to what she said next, and told her what a f**kin bitch she was. This is the typical Indian woman. Will never accept that she is weak, but will use all kinds of shrewd techniques to get what she wants.
What I learnt from here is that if you care what people around you think about you, and try not to hurt anybody, you may live peacefully, with a million friends, people caring about you, but you've never done what you wanted. You've spent your life caring for what other people think. You've got a great image, cool! Now what will you do with it? Stuff it up your ass? Go ahead!
Enough of diplomacy, screw sanskaar. I'm gonna live life the way I want to.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Age, gender and India
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7 Puddles of puke:
Nice :) I agree, agree, agree with what you said right there. But I would probably have given her a seat, though. If she had called me badtameez, I would have got really angry. Bad things happen when I get angry.
The reason to live peacefully with people is not to get a nice image, but to keep your own mind cool. If I fight with somebody today, I'll keep thinking about it later for hours. If I just let it go, I can just relax.
When I get angry, well, you know. The day I caught Kaushik by the tie was just a trailer. A teaser. You might not have realized it, but after doing that I was shaking for an entire period. My feet got pretty cold. It took some effort to calm myself down.
Well said!
I hate talkin to people
Happened to me once as well. I refused to give her the seat but fortunately for her after a few minutes she found a seat but not until she was left standing for 5-10 minutes. In the process she kept staring at me and I felt itchy.
@ Maximus
Yes, that kinda feeling was quite common as well, in my days in BBPS.
I was the 'weaker' kid and some or the other guy atleast twice in a month used to pick on me (not until I met Sid and yer group) and out of anger I generally used to smack harder than usual, go back into the class, feeling weird on what I'd done.
nah! Another one in the "fuck this fuck that" series. Why are you so frustrated with life??
First of all, let me clear one thing. Having a set of principles does NOT mean that you're supposed and bound to follow a predetermined policy and course of action whole your life. Dude, principles update with time. That's how we evolve. But, does that mean that principles are "obstacles in the way of what you believe is right"? Again, no. Actually, what you believe is right is itself your principle. It's you yourself who determine your principles. There are no "good" or "bad" principles.
I agree that when the lady called you "badtameez", she wasn't exactly right in doing so as it was a "request" made by her, which you rightfully declined. Neither were her deliberate taunts very polite. Yet, I believe that you should have given her the seat. I know you were "tired" n all, but still, there's no arguing the fact that being much older than you, she must be feeling much weaker. One should always look forward to helping others and simultaneously liking it. After all, had such an incident happened with your own mother, would you not have liked it had the seat been given to her by the boy??
But, in the end, it again comes back to principles. I find pleasure in helping others whenever I'm able to, but I dont expect everyone to think similarily. It was your own choice of actions and there's no point in my criticising it. As for the "typical Indian woman" part, if you lay so much emphasis on physical strength and weakness, you might as well remove the "I hate guys who fight to prove themselves stronger" tag from your forehead.
You today told me that you have no reasons in life to be happy. There are an infinite no. of reasons to be frustated and to crib about. Reasons to be happy are limited. That's why being happy is no easy task. After all, who has time to go about lookin for em, huh?
wow every ova'30 is your uncle or aunty, middle class bastards.
well, i feel that the lady demanded resppect from you, albeit politely. wen someone makes a request, they shudnt take u for granted. she probably thought she DESERVED respect. People ought to EARN repect, rather than demand it
i think all of us have principles. thats what makes us stand apart from others. u have a principle too, to live life on ur own terms.
Very very well articulated. I totally support his views. First women say they are at par with men, then they want to show how 'bechaari' they have been and tortured for centuries.
Visit: http://www.498a.org and see the havoc they have created.
Vijay
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